Bereavement is a lifelong journey.
I find myself repeating these words as I speak to so many who are on unique and complex bereavement journeys. Those of us who have had to say, “Goodbye for now,” to a beloved family member, understand that we will never forget these dear ones. We are learning to
Carry-on, not
Move-on.
We are making the conscious choice to bring these loved ones with us to a
new—sort-of—normal.
It will never be the same as when our loved one(s) were here with us, but we must find a way to,
PEACE,
through,
ACCEPTANCE!
In the painful loss that we have experienced, that word—
ACCEPTANCE
is the key to beginning our passage to that new, sort-of, normal.
For when there is no acceptance, there is no peace, but only the struggle to keep things as they once were which we know deep down in our hearts, will not, and can never be.
We wake up to the dawn of a new day, and the first thought on our mind is, they are not here!
How can this be?
How can I go on when my heart longs to see their face again; just one last time. My ears long to hear their voice speak to me, and if I could get lost in their smile and their laugh just for one more moment in time!
For the widow who has suffered the loss of a beloved spouse, this is both heart-wrenching and deeply complex. I do know and understand that are many marriages that struggle to enjoy the bonds of true love and commitment, but this is not the marriage in which I am writing about in this moment of time Today, I write for the widow who cherished their beloved and was so deeply in love with them that, now, when they awake each day, it’s like a knife twisting and turning in their heart to remind them of the harsh reality that their beloved is no longer here.
How does one cope through this kind of intense grief?
It is in God, and God alone!
To reject Him or blame Him for the loss, for let’s start right at the core to where many people begin their bereavement journey, is futile! It serves no purpose for finding, peace, and is merely a lie from the enemy of God.
The One True God, Yahweh, who is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, is a God who
cherishes life!
He, too, once grieved the loss of a beloved Son; so He of course, understands grief. His beloved Son, also, experienced the loss of a beloved friend, creating a famous verse in the Book given to us by God which is infamously known to be the shortest verse in the Bible,
Jesus wept. John 11:35
Yes, Jesus wept for loss of life! He wept for the lack of peace that we lack in our human skin. If we only could have the eyes to see beyond this physical realm and into the Kingdom of Heaven.
Jesus could have stoped the death of His friend Lazarus. He had the power, but the forces of darkness including pestilence and disease will have their way in our sin cursed world until we receive the fulfillment of the promise of a new Heaven and a new Earth in which the power of the LIGHT will have destroyed every form of these life snatching assailants. God knows grief and loss and has promised to wipe it away one day. Be EXCITED about this!
Look for your peace, here, rather than blaming Him for death—that is, the death of your beloved. When you choose to look to God and seek to discover the plethora of promises He offers to those who desire to receive them, well than, quite a journey through the loss of a loved one awaits you!
Do you desire strength in character and integrity of heart? Do you wish to begin living in a way to,
Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you, that is, to truly live the Golden Rule? —Luke 6:31
Then I plead with you, take that broken heart that has now ACCEPTED the loss of your beloved and begin the dawn of each new day by asking our great and mighty God to give him/her a kiss and a hug for you! (I believe!)
And then, ask this question:
Who can I help to see, to feel, to hear the love of God today?
Wait.
My heart still aches for my beloved and you are asking me to show love to someone else? How can I do this, when I merely have the strength to survive my own day?
And here is where you will learn the the supernatural power contained in those promises I spoke of earlier. I completely understand that, you, can’t fathom how to show love to another, when your heart breaks for the love you had once been receiving from your
beloved—
but God, in you,
can!
Is God in you?
If you live in and by John 3:16, and John 14:6, He is in you. If not, I urge you to let Him in! Let Him LIVE in you and through you!
Now is the time to allow, Him to use you as His messenger. Will you TRUST HIM?
It’s a,
YES, or
NO,
question.
He has commanded His children, that is, you, if you believe Him, to comfort others. This is not a suggestion, rather a commandment.
Ready?
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in [b]any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. II Corinthians 1:3,4
Notice the words that state the command—
so that we
WILL
be able to comfort others.
It doesn’t say,
If we choose to comfort others, if we desire to comfort others, if we wish to comfort others,
Here, it boldly says,
so that you WILL be able to comfort others.
And now to do the hard work of bereavement, because it is work. It is the hardest work we will do on planet earth, but, OH, the rewards it reaps! Do you know anyone that needs comfort in your corner of the world? I bet the answer is,
YES!
Our world has a whole lot of people that need comfort—even in your little corner. So, your beloved is no longer here with you, and you desire PEACE, so that you can CARRY-ON to find that new SORT-OF NORMAL.
I ask you, TODAY, who can you comfort?
Will you? If you will, than His supernatural
PEACE
awaits you!
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7
Perhaps there is even another widow you could reach out to, for the Scriptures are very specific in this regard…
Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. James 1:27
Follow His guidance here, and be ready to carry-on with His wonderful PEACE!
