Benjamin’s Story

Ben was born on March 6, 1997. He was healthy, vibrant and full of life. It seemed like an eternity waiting for him to get here, and now that he finally was here, we couldn’t wait to watch him go through all the fun and intriguing baby stages that all his siblings had gone through.

We were all so excited to have Ben home. His older brothers and sisters couldn’t wait to hold him, even the youngest of them all. We felt so blessed. God had once again given us the miracle of life and with it came incredible happiness. The days passed quickly and we could hardly believe how fast six weeks went by. Ben was growing and was even beginning to share with us some beautiful smiles and coos. For this we were truly amazed, as we had never had a child smile so early. We thank God for each and every precious smile Ben shared with us.

In the late afternoon on April 29, 1997, we had just finished with a series of activities that the kids and myself had engaged in, the kind of events that add variety and interest to family life. It was a beautiful day warmed with bright sunshine and fresh spring color all around us. We had visited the local planetarium that morning and I remember holding Ben, and gazing into his precious face as he slept through the spectacular show we were watching about Alaska. I felt so happy and so blessed to have such a beautiful baby, six other wonderful children, and a husband who loved us all with an incredible amount of love shown daily in his commitment and dedication to our well being and happiness.

For the most part things had gone rather smoothly that day, busy as it was. I couldn’t wait to get home and snuggle on the couch with my sweet baby, as we would share another nursing experience together. Ben had successfully taken his first bottle of expressed milk earlier that day. It was the first bottle given to him from his daddy, but it would be time for him to eat again upon our return home. It was a feeding that never would happen between mother and child again.

Very unexpectedly on our way home, with only a few more miles to travel, my two oldest children, Benjamin and myself experienced a terrible auto accident. In a matter of minutes, Ben was taken home to heaven to be with Jesus.

Saying goodbye to Ben was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

 

There was a man who was outside our vehicle just minutes after our accident. He told me to talk to Benjamin. To this day I have never met him. I am so thankful that in Ben’s last few moments on this earth I was able to tell him how much I love him, but that it was time for him to, “Go to Jesus.” This man’s wisdom allowed me to tell my baby goodbye, and the Spirit of God helped me tell little Ben that one day we would see him, again, in heaven with our Savior. I often wonder if this was a mortal man sent by God or an angelic being sent from heaven. In either case, his mission was to gently coach this mother, who in the midst of her trauma and tragedy, would need a quiet and calm voice to bring her to the conscious reality that her baby needed her to be strong and confident in the last few moments of his life.

God’s peace that passes all understanding was there in those final moments with sweet, little Benjamin. It was this treasured time that took so much of the ugliness of those same moments away.

I would now have to learn the very difficult task of seeing this day as God had seen it, from His perspective, for truly when His child is able to do so she finds the place where God’s perfect peace abounds. — Pam Waterman, mother of Benjamin